The Lonely Island - natalie's rap

★ lrc 編輯 妙一法師

We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Hello.

So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Do you really want to know?

Parnell

Yes, tell us...

I don't sleep, motherfucker

Off that yak and durban

Doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin'

Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick

Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick

I bust in dudes' mouth like gushers, motherfucker

Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker

What you want, Natalie?

To drink and fight

What you need, Natalie?

To fuck all night

Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue

Put my foot down your throat

Till your shit's in my shoe

Leave you screaming

Pay for my dry cleaning

Fuck your man

It's my name that he's screamin'

I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?

I never said I was a role model.

What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my dick

It's Portman, motherfucker

Drink till I'm sick

Slit your throat

And pour nitrous down the hole

Watch you laugh and cry

While I laugh, you die

And all the dudes

You know I'm talkin' to you

We love you, Natalie

I wanna fuck you, too

P is for Portman

P is for pussy!

I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun

So don't push me

Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.

Well there's a lot you may not know about me.

Really? Such as?

When I was in Harvard

I smoked weed every day

I cheated every test

And snorted all the yay

I gotta a def posse

And you gotta buncha dudes

I sit right down on your face and take a shit

Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!)

And I always pay for your dry cleanin

When my shit gets in your shoe (What!?)

As for the drug use

Well, I can vouch for that

My dick is scared of you, girl

Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–

No more questions

End

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