I don't want to leave Bernadette

But I don't want to live with the jet set

I don't want to leave with you payin' all my debts

With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get

Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

I can't get a job Bernadette

So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts

If you marry me Bernadette

You'll lose the alimony palimony whatever it is you get

Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

Ooh Bernadette Bernadette

Ooh Bernadette Bernadette

Bernadette's got a house in the country

She's really got it made

Her lawyers made her filthy rich

She's got all expenses paid

Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away

Then you'll eat him all up

And spit him out

With a dash of Perrier

And when you've had enough

You'll throw him away

And take him for all you can get

Yeah you like it don't you Bernadette

I don't want to leave Bernadette

But I want to keep a little bit of self respect

I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts

With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get

Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

Women like you oughta be locked up

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